Genie In a Bottle: Back to School

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Back to School

I gave great thought to my earlier post.

I think...I think...I think I know nothing about nutrition. I hate saying that after all the diet/self-help books I've read when it comes to eating...

I did some research. I looked into what other people are doing.

I found Spark People. Have you heard about it?

I've been playing around with it all afternoon. I like it. I like it a lot. Today, I entered in all of my food consumption and was surprised by the quick access to information. I need that information.

Because Spark People also has a blog section, I'm going to devote my time there (unfortunately, I don't have enough time to maintain this blog and my Spark People account) - at least until I have a firm grip on what I'm stuffing in the piehole.

So, I'm taking a blog break (LOL - after less than two weeks) to go back to school and get an education.

Please visit me there. I need all the support I can get. I don't know how to give a link, but my Spark People name is "MindfulEating1."

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Some TMI

I know many of you will understand when I tell you a story of the two selves.

The outer self. The mind. Confident. High achiever. A real go-getter. Dreams the dreams. The one who says, "Let's go!"

The inner self. The body. The genie. The genie who waits - and waits - for release. The gatekeeper of dreams. The one who assaults the mind with reality and says, "Hell to the no!"

I'm 43.

I've been overweight my entire life. I live with hypothyroidism.

I'm at war: a battle rages between the selves.

I can release my own genie. I am capable.

It won't be easy. It won't be comfortable. It will be mentally taxing (some cognitive restructuring is in order!). I'll be emotionally and physically exhausted...

The real me is about to stand up and say, "Hell to the yes!"

Weighing In...

I want to weigh in on weighing in.

Being able to have some sort of 'marker' to track progress, in any program, is important. My ultimate goal is to find a healthy balance between the mind and body and free myself of an addiction to food.

I could care less about what the scale says; inches have no meaning. My life is much more meaningful than a weight and inches.

However, I have allowed myself, through the years, to become overwhelmed by my weight and at some point, I just gave up.

I will be tracking my progress via my weight. It is the easiest way to track, for me. I don't have a 'target weight' but I do have a 'target sense of being.'

I have no hypothesis. I don't know how many pounds I will need to lose before I am able to manage my relationship with food; before I begin to feel my dreams are achievable; before I begin to feel 'free.'

My starting weight: 300 pounds

Weight 7/25/12: 300 pounds
Weight 8/1/12: 297 pounds

My Treadmill and I

For now, I am choosing to 'work out' on my treadmill. At 300 pounds, and 43 years old, I have to be careful about my joint and bone health. Low impact exercising works well.

I am also interested in Yoga and free weight exercises. More on those later...

I want to keep track of miles walked on my treadmill because I consider this journey a path...miles walked is just another progress marker, wherein I can see how far down the path I've gone.

Every step forward is progress. Every.single.step.matters.

Miles this week: .30

Total miles: 1.68